


The Flerken, the Fury and the Trickster

by LokiAllonsy



Category: Captain Marvel (2019), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Crack, Flerken, Gen, Loki kidnaps Goose, but they work it out in the end
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-14
Updated: 2019-04-14
Packaged: 2020-01-13 09:28:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 871
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18466162
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LokiAllonsy/pseuds/LokiAllonsy
Summary: Loki kidnaps Goose.Fury is not happy.Aka how Loki and Fury ended up with joint custody for an alien monster cat.





	The Flerken, the Fury and the Trickster

It started with an interrogation.

Loki had been captured once again, though over the course of time, the Avengers and SHIELD had begun to suspect that that might not be entirely involuntary, mostly due to the fact that he could just teleport away whenever he wanted.

However it may be, they still had to take the opportunity.   
And so Loki was sitting in a glass cage chained to a table, like always, Director Nicholas Fury sat opposite of him, like always, and the Avengers were watching from the outside, like always. The only thing that was different this time was the being that lay peacefully on Director Fury's lap, a being which left the overall impression of a cat and which had woken up this morning with a sickness that no one on Earth had ever heard of. Usually, Fury would have staid at home to "make sure the little fucker doesn't die" but unfortunately Loki had chosen this exact day to lift all of Manhattan ten meters off the ground, and even worse, get himself captured.

So here they were. Loki sat on his chair as if it was a throne and answered every question with polite vagueness as if it was small talk at a tea party.

"What are you planning?", asked Fury, for the fifth time.

"Oh, I can't say", said Loki, "but I'm in the middle of a book and still need to water my plants today, so..."

"Fucking hell, can't you let your kitty scratch him or something?", said Clint from outside the cage. "If I have to hear him talk about his Belladonna Lily one more time..."

"Did you know that it is also sometimes called the 'naked lady'?", asked Loki. "A bit vulgar, if you ask me."

"I didn't", said Clint.

Fury was about to ignore him, but a sudden idea hit him. He carefully lifted the cat and held it towards Loki.

"Do you know what this is?", he asked.

Loki raised an eyebrow. "Your pet, I presume?"

Fury smiled. Then he slowly took a box out of his coat, opened it and held a small meat cube between pinched fingers. 

"Goo-oose", he said, "are you hungry?"

He threw the piece of meat in the air, missing Loki's face by just a few centimeters.

Tentacles shot out of Goose's mouth, catching their target mid-air before being slurped back.

His maneuver definitely had the desired effect.

"Okay, what the hell", said Tony.

Just not on the right person.

Clint's mouth hung open.

Bruce looked a bit green in the dim light.

A younger shield agent fled from the room.

Natasha's eyes were a little bit wider than before.

Loki looked like a child at Christmas.

"A Flerken", he whispered, slowly reaching out to Goose, "I thought they were creatures of legends..."

Fury, who hadn't anticipated that someone's first reaction to Goose's eating ceremony could be to try to get closer to her, watched as Loki pressed her to his chest and looked at her in fascination.

"Give her back", he said finally.

Loki petted the Flerken, who purred in response. "I don't know, she seems to like me. Don't you, my dear? You like me, right? Yes, you do." He cleared his throat and smiled. "Where were we?"

During the rest of the interrogation, Loki kept stroking Goose menacingly, staring into Fury's eye the whole time, except for the times when he tickled and petted her and did not pay attention to Fury at all. 

"Loki. Loki!"

Loki looked up and smiled sweetly.

"Yes?"

"Give the cat back. As long as you are our prisoner, you-"

"I better leave then, how kind of you to remind me", said Loki, and was gone. And Goose with him.

"Fuck", said Tony, as everyone in the room slowly broke out of their blank stares, though he didn't really know himself which part of... all of that he was referring to.

 

...

 

From then on, battles with Loki were even worse than before. Where they usually would have kicked his ass as soon as they got close to him, they now had to politely inquire whether Loki could perhaps give Fury his cat back, please, if he didn't mind. 

"I don't think so", said Loki, and threw a knife at them. 

Finally, a few weeks later, Loki appeared on the Helicarrier, dark circles under his eyes and Goose in his arms.

"I have a bargain", he said. "Take me to Director Fury."

"Okay", said the cleaning lady, "if you could give me the detergent from the top shelf?"

 

...

 

After a lot of grumbling, threats and sneers, Loki and Fury came to an agreement.

As it turned out, Goose did like Loki, but she liked Fury as well. And so, after a few days and nights of having to dodge her tentacles, Loki proposed that he and Fury both took custody of her.

From then on, Loki appeared on the Helicarrier every week to pick up their Flerken or bring it back, and sometimes, he even staid a bit longer so he, Fury and the Avengers could play with her together. And if they slowly began to talk to each other about other things, too, that really was just politeness.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you had fun. I certainly had.
> 
> Comments are very much appreciated!


End file.
